As SHS seniors prepare to leave home for the first time, arguing and bickering may occur more than usual. Although high school graduates don’t mean to lash out at parents or friends, fearing the unknown can stir this response, which is why psychologists deem this time the “Big Breakup.”
The stress that seniors feel while applying to college can create rifts in their relationships, but the reality of graduating and making one of the most significant life changes can place an added strain on any friendship or family tie. According to senior Andrei Aprea, stress from the college application process was “weighing down” his ability to remain calm while talking to his parents about school options.
SHS school psychologist Steve Howley shared his perspective on this response, stating, “Kids lose track, which makes it stressful to parents.” Howley explained that students have followed the same September schedule for many years, and extra planning is not necessary, “but this is the first September where students have to make their own plan.”
So, have seniors been planning? Probably not, which causes parents to ask question after question after question–leading to meaningless arguments between graduating seniors and their guardians. Even if students feel ready to make college decisions independently, Howley said parents should also help.
When asked if he thinks parents may envy their high school seniors, whose adult lives are just starting while the parents’ role is ending, Howley responded, “Kids are the parents’ everything for 18 years. Once the kids are on their own, parents don’t know what to do with themselves.”
SHS English teacher Jennifer Curtis is the parent of a high school senior who will be attending college in the fall. When asked about this challenging time, she said, “It’s the elephant in the room.” While describing the feelings associated with letting go of her firstborn, Curtis explained, “Moms are the only people who want you to do better than they did.” Curtis said whether that’s in education, raising a family, in a job, or just life in general, moms and dads are raising their kids to be the best they can be, better than they were ever, which is why it’s so exciting but difficult for parents to let go of their nurturing mentality.
Being a senior in high school can be one of the best times of a person’s life: Deciding where to attend college, making plans to relocate, and meeting new people can be exhilarating. However, this period can also be one of the hardest transitions for a family or an individual. If you’re going through this time and feeling extra stress, take some comfort in knowing your emotional response is normal.